The Mindset Shift that Finally Ended my Shopping Habit and Helped me Find Contentment

The Power of Gratitude

I typed “how to stop buying so much stuff” into my browser and was reminded of a truth we’ve been ignoring for generations: our obsession with new things drains our wallets, erodes our happiness, and is simultaneously destroying the planet. The warnings about clutter, waste, and the pressure to upgrade aren’t new. They’ve been flashing for over a century, yet we as a society continue to accumulate at an alarming rate. Research shows that despite having more than any generation before us, we are becoming less, not more, "happy", trapped in a cycle of consumption that never delivers the satisfaction, connection, or the contentment that we crave.

Overconsumption is Destroying the Planet

OVERCONSUMPTION IS A PROBLEM OF PRIVILEGE

We all know it on some level. We are reading and writing articles on how and why to buy less. We are joining declutter support groups, and we are buying and reading books about the joys of living with less. We know there is too much waste, overflowing landfills, and just way too much stuff being produced daily. However, based on the estimation that the average home still contains around 300,000 items, combined with the fact that we are consuming up to a credit card's worth of plastic per week, it does not seem to be sinking in.  

For those who literally cannot afford to sustain their shopping habits, practical tips like leaving your credit card at home, staying off the internet late at night, and making a budget can help. But let's be honest. Having too much stuff is predominantly a problem of privilege across the board. For those of us for whom owning too much stuff is really just more of an inconvenience in the form of clutter, the true cost of our overconsumption on our minds, on those less fortunate, and on the planet, is not getting through.

Through Advertising we are Constantly Under Attack

We are Being Played

What is sinking in for me is just how forceful the marketing machine actually is. It’s not persuasion; it’s psychological warfare. It starts from the moment we are born. The message is simple, toxic, and relentless: you’re inadequate and will never be happy unless you have "X." Steve Jobs famously said, “The consumer doesn’t know what they want until you show it to them,” and advertisers have taken that to heart and proven him right. It works so well that we are able to just block out the very real need and suffering that exists all around us as we continue to accumulate more. We are able to ignore our blessings and overlook the damage we’re inflicting on the planet while we buy, buy, buy.

Clear away clutter for good, instead of to make room for better stuff.

I volunteered for five years at my local Community Closet, and the volume of perfectly good, sometimes brand-new, clothing and housewares that poured in was astounding. In the beginning, it brought me so much joy to reallocate those items to people in the community who truly needed them. But over time, I started noticing something unsettling: I kept seeing the same donors, dropping off carloads of “decluttered” items multiple times a year. It hit me that many weren’t simplifying at all. Whether they knew it or not, they were just making room to buy more. Decluttering may be trending, but instead of leading people to live with less, it’s too often just a socially acceptable excuse to upgrade, replace, and consume.

I’ve fallen into this trap myself for years. I have always loved the rush of clearing away clutter! However, in the back of my mind, there was always the hope that replacing what I had with something newer, trendier, prettier, or more “useful” would finally make me feel fulfilled. I was a "multiple-time-a-year declutterer." I was a shopper. I admit it.

Our chance of happiness and life satisfaction will go way up if we start paying attention.

For starters we as individuals need to figure out what we do want and need for ourselves (and no, it's not more cheap or expensive crap).  Examining what truly brings us joy and practicing gratitude allows us to push back. How you ask?  Here is what works for me. 

I actively focus on being present in the moment.  That may sound a little hokey, but it's important. I  have conversations with myself.  For example, when I compare myself to others, I compare myself  to those who have less rather than more.  I force myself to question the implications of everything I consider buying.  Will it still “spark joy” next week?  Will it be in my donation pile or the trash in 6 months?  Who had to suffer to get this thing manufactured so cheaply? I picture that item languishing in a landfill full of millions of other items. I think about people who could really benefit from the $150 I am about to blow on my 25th pair of leggings. I am also not afraid to remind myself that the only one usually benefiting long term from this transaction is the seller!

This isn’t about judging anyone or declaring that shopping is off-limits. It’s about what finally worked for me. After years of chasing, buying, tossing, and repeating, yet never feeling fulfilled, choosing to buy less, buy mindfully, and clear the clutter has transformed my life.   

Every day before I turn on my computer or TV or head out the door, I ask myself if there really is anything I need today. You will be shocked to hear the answer tends to be a resounding “NO.” I then go through a list of things for which I am grateful. I have a home (so many people do not). I have enough to eat (plenty of people don’t). I have health insurance (a luxury today). I have reliable transportation (more than 1/3 of Americans do not). I am relatively safe (millions of people live in fear of war or violence or persecution). If there were some sort of emergency, even a big one, I would most likely land on my feet because I do not live paycheck to paycheck (25% of Americans do).

A powerful mantra

That’s it.  It takes less than a minute, but it leaves me feeling grateful, powerful, and confident.  My  “there is nothing I need” mantra has stopped my shopping habit for good. I have more time and money. Plus, living my life in alignment with my values brings me peace and allows me to more regularly experience authentic happiness. By clearing away the clutter (and believe me, this took time, focus, and commitment), and resisting the urge to re-clutter, my home is now a place where I feel calm, confident, and relaxed. Everything has a place and a purpose. I am free to enjoy my home and spend time pursuing things that matter to me instead of organizing, sorting, and clearing out.

Only when we take the time to decide for ourselves what is truly valuable and important, and then actually prioritize those things, will we truly experience contentment.   Now I can see beautiful things in a shop and not need to own them. I can observe a trend and realize it's not for me.  I can appreciate something someone else has without needing to have it myself.  That was not the case for the first 50 years of my life!

When Enough Really Is Enough

When we realize we actually do have enough is when we reclaim our power. The realization gives us the strength and confidence to resist constant manipulation and truly enjoy what we already have. When we determine our own definition of "enough," we give ourselves the freedom to live in alignment with our values and to pursue what truly matters to us. For me, it is helping others, learning new things, time with family, resting, traveling, and enjoying time in nature. Take a minute to figure out what it is for you.

To practice this mindset, you don’t need to buy a book or read anything else. But what you do need is to be honest with yourself about what you value, and then honor that. When we chase and consume, we are just putting more obstacles between ourselves and those values. We are allowing someone and something else to define us. We are not living in reality or with any sort of perspective, and that is never going to make us truly happy. So the next time you are tempted to buy, upgrade, or replace something, repeat after me: “I have everything I need.” True luxury is less.