Mother's Day is BS

What Mothers ACTUALLY want

It’s not because mothers don’t deserve to be celebrated. We do for sure! However, when celebrating us became confused with buying tons of "stuff," the whole thing went off the rails. It became a day for retailers, not mothers. It’s not just Mother’s Day. It’s Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays, Christmas, and Easter. It is one commercialized holiday after another, all subtly reinforcing the same idea: If you love someone, you buy them something. I call BS on that too!

The origins of Mother's Day in the US

Before I looked it up, I assumed Mother’s Day was created to celebrate just how amazing we mamas are. But that’s not actually the case. In the mid-19th century, before the American Civil War, “Mother’s Day Work Clubs” were formed to teach women how to care for children and improve sanitation. In 1870, Julia Ward Howe wrote the “Mother’s Day Proclamation,” which was not a celebration of mothers, but a call for mothers to unite in the name of world peace.

The modern holiday came later, at the turn of the century, thanks to Anna Jarvis, who wanted a day to honor the sacrifices of mothers. But, as we in our capitalist society love to do, we took something meaningful and turned it into another reason to buy and sell stuff. By the 1920s, florists, card companies, and candy makers had transformed Mother’s Day into a shopping event. Jarvis was so disgusted she spent much of her life and her fortune fighting the very holiday she created.

How much money is spent on Mother's Day annually?

Today, an estimated $35 billion is spent on this made-up holiday, which is about $284 per person. Imagine redirecting that money toward something that actually matters. If, instead of buying more things, we donated that money to charity we could have a massive impact on something other than Jeff Bezos’s net worth.

Let’s be honest, sending mom a gift from Amazon does not scream thoughtfulness. Anyone can do it very easily. In fact 63% of us use this particular platform to “show our love” on Mother’s Day. A very small percentage of Mother’s Day gifts provide any value. To the contrary, they generally add burden: to the recipient (clutter), to the giver (wasted money and time), and certainly to Mother Earth (landfill).

I don’t want my children parting with their hard-earned money for a trinket, gadget, or plastic knickknack. I don't want the expensive version either. Truth be told, I don't even want a card, because chances are good that along with the other 113 million cards sent to moms, it will end up in a landfill because it is not recyclable.

Ignore the advertisers and influencers

It’s not because my kids aren’t thoughtful, they really are. They are generous too. But I don’t want anything. And I hope they listen to me instead of the steady drumbeat of advertisers and influencers telling them otherwise. The only thing those folks care about is making the sale!

Be strong, boys!

Let's honor Mother Earth this year

Maybe this year, we expand the idea of “mother” beyond just our own. Let’s consider Mother Earth. All our "thoughtfulness" and "generosity" are slowly decimating her. All the wrapping and shipping and packaging alone are causing her tremendous pain.

If she doesn’t thrive, none of us do. So maybe the best way to honor your mother isn’t with more stuff. Maybe it’s with your time. Your attention. Your presence. Call her. Visit her. Write something real. Show up.

That’s all I want. I’m very lucky that my kids understand that and that we connect regularly.

Which means, by the time Mother's Day rolls around there is no need for the BS!